I hate thinking about when my cat is going to die; I know it is inevitable like everything is in life, but it fills me with dread thinking about a future where she is no longer here with me. I do not know what I would do without her, what I would do with my life. My cat is my everything and as the two of us slowly approach that known future, I want to commemorate her life in any way possible. I have found that photographs do not cut it. Instead, I want to draw and paint her as much as possible, depicting her in the way that I have known her for the last fourteen years. 

One of my favorite characteristics of my cat is her orange undercoat. Looking at her normally, the only things that stand out about her are her wide eyes, round belly, and the gray and brown patterning of her fur. However, the moment she lays in a sunbeam or settles herself on the windowsill, she glows a bright orange. Her coat brightens up any room and my life. As such, I want to depict this orange glow that emits from my cat whenever she is content.

I want this illustration of her to brighten up whatever wall I hang it up on, to remind me of the positivity she has given me until the very end. I cannot deny that her passing will come, but I want to celebrate all the tidbits of her life that give me the most joy. My depiction of her sunworshipping is my worship of her life. I don’t want it to end, but as long as a sunbeam shines through, I know that she will be there, even if she is no longer here. I don’t want to forget her.